Ohhh.....awkward

It’s been a little over a month now and I can say now that London is my new home. Going on weekend trips and traveling early in the morning on the way back home really makes me appreciate this city. I always find myself thinking at 8 am on a Sunday after a weekend of traveling that I can’t wait to go home. Although I’ve been loving traveling to Prague and Geneva, I do find myself missing London.

Luckily, this week my family is visiting me so I will be able to have some time in the city again. Since living here, I’ve noticed the strangest little quirks about the English. I never could never come up with a word for it but after reading Kate Fox’s Watching the English, I’m finally started to understand that the English are AWKWARD. It’s very humorous to me because I sometimes feel that in social situations I’m a bit awkward, but the english definitely beat me in this competition over and over again.

Another part of social english culture is that they are very private. They don’t like to reveal too much about themselves to strangers which is the complete opposite of who I am. But come on, they don’t even like sharing their name! So I guess it’s just a “them” thing. One of the most interesting parts of the Fox’s study was when she wrote about how the English like to gossip on page 17-18. This is a form of grooming talk that isn’t a warming up talk like talking about the weather, but a type of conversation that digs a little deeper. This is the type of conversation you have with someone you know a little bit more, but this is RISKY so choose wisely who you gossip with.

Fox writes that gossiping is very common in England and she reports that two thirds of conversation is gossip. This surprising to me because of how private the English seem to be. But what’s not to surprising is that Fox writes that most of the gossip the english report are about themselves or if it is about someone else, they always have to include their opinion on the tea. I haven’t had an opportunity yet to try to gossip with an english person. I never seem to get past the “warming up” talk. I find that a lot of the english people I talk to love talking about the differences of America and England and maybe that’s a sort of gossip talk. They’re not talking about anyone specifically so it’s safe for them internally to talk about that.

Being in this country for one month, it’s alluring to see all of my observations written down in an anthropology report. This makes me reflect my social actions and how I interact with others and the reactions I receive. Unlike the English, my social skills have developed to be outwardly vocal and outgoing, even toward certain strangers. I feel like I’m comfortable doing this because of the American culture. I’m encouraged to express my opinion and to have a voice and I always feel comfortable doing so, unless someone gives me a reason not to.

Another social topic Fox reviews is the English and talking about flirting on page 122-123. As discussed over and over again, the english are extremely awkward and flirting is something that I find extremely awkward. So, this was an interesting section for me to read. Fox explains that she studied two kinds of flirting. One is “flirting with intent”, which basically means you’re flirting for a reason and the other is “recreational flirting” which is just for fun. It’s hard for me to get a feel of flirting in London because most of the times when English people actually strike up a conversation with me it’s when I’m at a club and alcohol is in the mix.

I always had a preconceived notion that people in Europe don’t get as drunk as Americans because of the drinking age. But going out on a Friday night proves otherwise. Yes, Americans still get way more drunk than the English but nevertheless they still like to have a good time after a few beers. Fox addresses this and blatantly explains that alcohol is an effective buffer for English awkwardness. After reading this section, I understand now why boys at clubs and on Tinder are so forward and honestly creepy af.

This report was made over 10 years ago, but is Fox redid this section, I’m sure dating apps would be a major addition to the english and flirting. Millennial english people replaced alcohol for dating apps in order to “flirt with intent”. Americans are definitely guilty of this too, no doubt. But, I was honestly surprised to come across this when swiping. My initial perceptions of Europeans were much different than what I’ve been experiencing since living here.

I think it’s because I always grouped the English in with the Europeans. That was my first mistake, they’re most definitely not the same. I’ve actually noticed a lot more similarities between the English and America, who knew!

Gotta get back to swiping, Cheers!