Politeness and Pubs - British Custom and Culture

As I read through Kate Fox’s Watching the English, I was very interested in learning about the concept of a “reflex-apology”, a phenomenon where two strangers will automatically apologize to each other for minuscule interactions like bumping into one another, or blocking a person’s path on the street. While I didn’t know there was a name to this awkward occurrence, I certainly feel like I have noticed the over-politeness of British people over the past month in London. Whether I’m on the tube, on the street, or in a queue, it is difficult to escape the seemingly pointless apologies after accidentally breaching someone’s personal space.

In one section of the book, Fox details her own struggles with the reflex-apology in a study of proxemics, where she accidentally collided with people to research the reactions that they would have.

“As usual, this turned out to be a test of my own Englishness: I found that I could not bump into someone, however gently, without automatically saying ‘sorry’.” (Fox, 56).

It seems to me that sorry can be used as more than an apology for Londoners. The phrase can double as a way to fill that uncomfortable pause of dead air between conversation, or as an explanation for making awkward eye contact with someone on the tube. Doing her fieldwork in various locations around London and Oxford, Fox found that a vast majority of all people bumped into would apologize instantly, and continue on their way. Now that I am more aware of this concept, I am going to try to listen and keep track of how many times I hear “sorry” throughout my day.

In addition to the idea of reflex apologies, another interesting aspect of British society in Fox’s book that I have encountered is the pub environment. Fox does a great job of not only detailing the changing trends of pubs in the U.K., as well as the proper etiquette of how to talk and act in a British pub. In my own experiences in London, I was very surprised about the differences in how Americans in their 20s drink compared to Londoners of the same age.

Back at Temple, I feel like many people go out to clubs and bars for the sole purpose of getting drunk, being rowdy, and having a “night to remember”. My experience in British pubs has been much different, I have gotten the impression that the local pub is much more of a community center, a comfortable space where people can come to relax, watch sports, and engage in discourse with your neighbors. Fox sums it up perfectly with the phrase, “a village is not really a proper village without a pub (95)”.